O Brother Putney Swope, Where Art Thou?

Hollywood spends millions upon millions of dollars advertising a film to power in those amazing and all-important opening weekend grosses.

Some of the ways (some effective, some antiquated) they spend that budget line money are:

1. One-sheets & standess (displayed in-house)
2. Trailers (previews of coming attraction)
3. Advance promotional WOM (word-of-mouth) screenings
4. Radio advertising
5. Print advertising (newspaper, magazines, internet banners, etc.)
6. Print articles (newspaper, magazines, blogs, etc.)
7. Television advertising
8. Televisions shows (Entertainment Tonight, et.al., Letterman/Leno, etc.)
9. Press junkets
10. Reviews via movie critics

Pause for a moment. Mentally choose a film you recently saw. How many times were you exposed to it from the items above? If you are like me, you've crossed paths with that film at least a few times. Sometimes all of them!

This said, it leaves me absolutely flabbergasted when customers come into my lobby and inquire with the staff (usually the Box Office cashier), "Can you tell me what that film is about?"

I am not talking about the momentary forget that a simply jog of the memory will recall. "Atonement? What's that?" "That has Keira Knightly in it...." "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right." I'm talking about people -- and they are legion -- that ask and inquire, get provided a full description and cast listing and still are standing there with a blank look on their faces.

This occurs dozens of times throughout the week at my cinema, all year long. Dozens. We will go down the list with them:

JUNO.
ATONEMENT.
BUCKET LIST.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.
27 DRESSES.
I AM LEGEND.
AMERICAN GANGSTER.
CLOVERFIELD.

Again, even after giving them a full and complete answer (with cast, synopisis, etc.) they will still stand there inert as statuary. Nothing, not one, will have rung a bell.

During moments like this, I wish I was on-stage. The stage lights around me would dim as my spotlight brightened so I could deliver my soliloquy:

"What the fuck?! Have you been in a coma? Do you live in a cave? You're telling me you have no television, cable or radio? You never sully your hands with newsprint? You don't have a magazine subscription, or casually flip through a magazine in a waiting room? Your room is dark; you are locked in its dankness six out of God's seven days? Really? At the very least, several of these films are based on well-reviewed, best-selling novels that are available not only at bookstores, but even at the most rudimentary of grocery stores and have been popular for several years! Truly...what the fuck. How hard to you have to work at having absolutely no awareness of the world around you?"

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox. But I am not done ranting.

Let's have some perspective here. JUNO has been out since Christmas. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN was what, November? Like with THERE WILL BE BLOOD, these are major, high-profile, mulitiple Oscar-nominated films --- which means they get written about and mentioned far more often than the average, common film. How could you have possibly dodged every mention of these?

"CLOVERFIELD? Helllooo! You're telling me that for over six months you were able to miss their entire viral video campaign and the passions of thousands of fanboys in casual conversation? Did the graphic artist who conceived of the CLOVERFIELD poster fail? A ripped and destroyed Statue of Liberty just couldn't grab you attention for the three point five seconds it would take for your simian brain to retain the information?"

"Everytime you eat, must you relearn how to use a fork, a knife, a spoon? What is this napkin you speak of?"

"Well, hello Captain Oblivious! I've long wished to meet you, and here you are, upright & bipedal in my presence!"

I have seen these same inquiring people (oh, how misused is the word 'inquiring' here!), frequently and often, in my cinema, week after week, spending their monies on admissions and concessions.

"Hello! Did you not see the two posters Universal Pictures required we hang side-by-side in our cases for AMERICAN GANGSTER? Hello! Did you never look up and see the massive vinyl banners hanging from the ceiling? Hello! Did you not waddle your ass into that ginormous cardboad lobby display last Saturday matinee?"

"Hello! Were you too busy choking on popcorn and Goobers, causing you to miss the previews of coming attractions ("I can't miss the previews. They're the best part!") as you were receiving the Heimlich Maneuver? Is that why you were not cognizant about any of the current dozen releases? Bueller...? Bueller...?"

Sadly, however, they always know about screen fodder like ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS, THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE and YOURS, MINE and OURS.

Hollywood? You are spending an insane amount of money on advertising, but I just don't see how you are missing a core of people who want to spend money on your product that wander into my lobby. Truly, that takes talent. Did you utilize a focus group to accomplish that?